I am a husband, a father, an educator.
Yes, I am more than that. But, too often being more than that gets confused with either myself or others thinking I can go beyond my limitations. Too often I confuse others being more with me thinking they can go beyond their limitations. I expect my spouse or my daughters or my colleagues to be that which even I cannot attain. Why do we expect more from others than ourselves?
I dodged a bullet recently (and now I’ll die another day), and nothing about it makes me superhuman. In fact, truth be told, I feel weaker and more vulnerable than before. I was scared, and I still am. The trials I have faced ultimately make me stronger – I get that – and yet, I desire to capture something more humbling from my life.
Thinking highly of others doesn’t equate to pretending they should be more than they are. No, if we expect much of ourselves and others, it actually equates to honoring and respecting and loving people for who they are. Every part of them, in every moment, and in every way. I’m not saying it’s not a challenge to avoid judging others, especially because it makes us feel so much better about ourselves. Rather, I’m hoping for more opportunities to recognize more often that we are – each and every single one of us are – of not future value, but present value.
Appreciating others takes effort. If we desire to see change in others, then let’s at least be fair about it and ask ourselves to put as much work into it as we’re asking them to put into it. Not looking for a miracle here, just seeking something simple. After all, we’re only human.
Only human. That we are! And present value–that’s to be appreciated–in you, Tom, and everyone. Hugs!
It is so difficult to “not judge others” In fact I think it is more difficult for me than it is for “others”. Guess I need to work on that.
Thanks for the reminder. Thanks for your vulnerability.
Tom, your writing always brings me back and plants my feet firmly on the ground again. Thank you!
Such a vulnerable yet courageous post. We(I) get so caught up in the daily minutia that we forget what is important. People, valuing one another, finding the good in each other and in ourselves. Thanks for sharing!