Intercultural Responsiveness

If you read any of my blogs, I’m sure you’ve figured out by now I’m not going to give you something easy to digest. I just don’t have it in me to perpetuate the same white noise we – as educators, as people – have come to expect. If we’re not going to challenge some thinking, why bother? Hey, I can write vanilla with the best of them, but we’re called to something more. So, even when it comes to a topic that wavers in and out of our consciousness like most other phrases that can elicit yawns as often as yells, I just can’t do it. I can’t coddle you or me with what we’ve come to expect. I suppose that’s my apology, or perhaps my warning, or perhaps my challenge as you ponder reading on, or not.

Our district recently enhanced the specifics related to defining, reporting, and responding to bullying. Now, please allow me to be clear: Anything related to helping people feel more welcome and safe is a good thing, a right thing, regardless of how close or far away our intentions and efforts may hit or fall from the target. With that said, here are some thoughts, and questions …

When I hear comments thrown around like, “Finally, they’re doing something about bullying,” I roll my eyes and throw up a little bit in my mouth. Pretending like nothing has ever been done about bullying is as much of a lie as pretending like now everything will be done about bullying.

Children are bullies because adults are bullies because people are bullies. We’re broken. All of us. Not some of us. All of us. Saying that doesn’t mean we should not do anything about bullying. That, of course, would be the easy and convenient thing to do since it can avoid the obvious, the overwhelming, the hit that’s just a bit too close to home.

Why do we use the word “bully” or “bullying” to describe a person and their behavior that is harassment in it’s most subtle form, and assault or more in the worst circumstances? We all use the phrases, including me in the title and throughout this blog post and beyond. But, why?

Bullying can contribute to a person killing themselves. It’s happened in the past, it’s happening right now, and it will continue to happen in the future. The frailty of a human being is as certain as our brokenness. Whose fault is it when someone takes their own life? Is it the fault of those around him or her that tore them down instead of lifting them up? Is it the fault of those around him or her that loved them, or at least knew them, but didn’t notice or listen or help? Is it his or her own fault? Is it everyone’s? Is it no one’s?

We’re all about grace when it comes to ourselves and our children or loved ones, but it’s not such a popular thing when it comes to others or those who harm our children or loved ones. I’ve made, continue to make, and will make many mistakes, and I welcome and give thanks for the grace granted to me for the error of my ways. My children and loved ones are no different than me, and I welcome and am thankful for the same for them. For me. For them. How about for others?

Is it about how many pounds of flesh we require for retribution, or is it about how much time and effort, and heart and soul, we’re willing to invest to listen, to love, to learn, and to grow?

It’d be nice if the answers could be found in a policy, but they can’t. There’s a reason for that. May we all take the opportunity to discover it, and understand it.

I left the school building this past Friday afternoon to the sounds of, well, nothing. School starts this coming week, and it will be the last time in a while I’ll be leaving in relative silence. Nine months from now, we’ll be wrapping up another school year. As we make our way from here to there, I wonder what will be different, for all of us traveling together.

I’ll admit I’m somewhat pessimistic that any dramatic change will happen. I’ve come to accept the reality that change is a painfully slow process, and one that is intensely personal. So, I also admit I’m extremely hopeful that small steps will be made in each of our lives that will one day take form in ways we cannot presently comprehend.

It’s rough out there for everyone, and educators have certainly not been shielded from tough times. As we continue to struggle with challenges to the public education system, we must find a way to join together and navigate the rough terrain we will continue to traverse. We kicked off the school year this past week by focusing on ten rules discussed in The Energy Bus. While I’m not typically a big fan of these simplistic leadership and organizational change books, there is a powerful message here.

This message is born not from this book, but rather from a much deeper place. The truth we follow in our hearts has a distinct source. So, regardless of where credit should truly be given, the rules below led us to share the expanded comments with our staff. May you find some encouragement from that which we’ve drawn encouragement. Enjoy your school year, and when you are in the thick of it, don’t forget to truly, deeply, positively, and passionately make a difference.

1. You’re the Driver of the Bus
Take responsibility, and be invested in moving things forward in a positive direction!

2. Desire, Vision, and Focus Move Your Bus in the Right Direction
Do you remember why you’re here and why you love what you do? Do you know where you want to go? Then keep your eyes on the road and help take us there!

3. Fuel Your Ride with Positive Energy
Each and every day you need to fuel up, and each and every day you get to make a choice to fuel up with positive or negative energy. So, make the right choice on a daily basis!

4. Invite People on Your Bus and Share Your Vision for the Road Ahead
We’re definitely better together, and when we reach out to others, we only grow stronger. Building a community is about getting outside of our comfort zones and finding ways to connect and collaborate!

5. Don’t Waste Your Energy on Those Who Don’t Get on Your Bus
Unfortunately, some people just aren’t going to get on board, and that’s life. Just be sure not to let them sap your positive energy!

6. Post a Sign that Says: “No Energy Vampires Allowed” on Your Bus
If we’re not courageous enough to tell others that their negativity isn’t welcome, then it’s as good as welcoming their negative energy. Don’t do it, and don’t allow it!

7. Enthusiasm Attracts More Passengers and Energizes Them During the Ride
People want to be inspired, and there’s nothing like enthusiasm to inspire and get people on board!

8. Love Your Passengers
It’s easy to love people who are similar to you or who seem to love you back, but it’s not easy to love people who are different than you or who seem to not love you back. The fact is, love isn’t supposed to be easy, so get off your duff and start loving absolutely everyone!

9. Drive With Purpose
You may be headed in the right direction, but if the destination isn’t where people should end up, then you’re not driving with a purpose. You’re here not for yourself, but for those you serve!

10. Have Fun and Enjoy the Ride
There are going to be ups and downs along the way: We’ll face detours, construction will frustrate, road repairs will happen in a timely manner at times, and at times not. Keep your eye on the prize, and just roll with it!

My father-in-law shared with me, during a recent visit, that he frequently makes the comment to himself, “Focus, Ed. Focus.” And, he was telling the truth. I’ve heard him say it – not so under his breath – on more than one occasion. You see, he’s like most of us whose minds wander at both opportune and seemingly inopportune times. He’s also like most of us who can’t just turn on and turn off our thought process simply because someone or something “needs” our attention at a given moment. Some of his best ideas, he told me, come when he’s actually not focusing at all – when either his mind is racing, or when it’s slowed in meditative moments, or when it takes a journey far away from where it “should” be.

I remember, as an athlete, the power of visualization. Taking myself through a race would provide me the opportunity to plan my pacing, plot my breakaways, and gain confidence of a win. However, when it was time to warm-up and prepare for my place at the starting line, quite often my focus on the race would be exactly what could promote confusion for me. So, I would think of nearly anything but racing. My mind would clear, peace would come over me, and I would allow what came naturally to me carry me through the finish line.

How often do we promote the idea of focus with those we interact with? And, how often does our determination that they concentrate on what we wish them to actually take away from what we ultimately hope to accomplish? And, how often do we become confused about believing what we hope others to accomplish actually equates to what others hope to accomplish? Might we step back a bit and allow for more time to be out of focus?

Sometimes, what’s right in front of us isn’t what we need. Sometimes, what’s off in the distance is precisely what we need. We just can’t seem to see it. Well, unless we stop trying to focus so much.