I couldn’t decide if I should write about social media, personal learning networks, or education reform. One of those three topics would certainly get me the most hits. So, after much debate, I finally settled on anxiousness.
I’ve got a couple weeks until I start work again. I wonder if we’ll have strong student numbers this coming year. I’m anxious about staffing changes, having enough staff, and being able to retain staff to serve our students and families. Yes, that would include me. The state testing scores will roll in soon, once again, and I’m curious what portrait they’ll paint of our learning community. I’m anxious about being able to advance the professional development necessary to keep our staff feeling confident about meeting the needs of all our students. I’d like to see some opportunities to promote digital citizenship instead of maintaining the status quo around banning certain items. I’m anxious about how people will react to this. Appropriately addressing discipline concerns so they become opportunities for growth instead of instances of punishment is on my mind as well. I’m anxious about some changes we need to make in order to help be more responsive to students instead of having them always just be responsive to our system.
There’s a reserved guilt, comfortable privilege, and cherished power associated with not being anxious about certain things that really matter. Like, where I’m going to get my next meal, or if I’ll have a roof over my head tonight, or how I’ll pay my bills, or if I’m confident about my safety and survival when I go home or get home, or when I’ll have to be concerned again about how someone will react to me because of my appearance, means of communication, beliefs, orientation, or some other part of me that makes others feel uncomfortable.
I guess I should focus more of my energy on things that really matter for myself and those I interact with. Actually, I know I should do this. In fact, I’m determined that I’m going to do this. A school year, a calendar year, birthdays, indeed life itself, provides these opportunities for endings and beginnings, and I’m going to take advantage of it. Seriously, why be anxious when I really don’t have anything to be anxious about?
O.K., I’m anxious about finding out if this truly proves to be the best blog post in the history of the world – even though I’m fairly certain I know how that’s gonna turn out, and I’m most definitely certain that it matters not even in the slightest. I’m also pretty anxious about actually following through on making some changes. This, on the other hand, matters. A lot.
I guess I’ll just wait and see … anxiously.