Best I can tell, based on some basic research, Glynn Wolfe went through a couple dozen divorces. Married 29 (maybe 30) times, he was divorced 24 times. I don’t know, but that seems pretty jacked up to me. Then again, it’s all relative, I suppose. What seems too many times to be married and divorced? Some folks would say more than once is unacceptable, but others would say even once may be unacceptable, depending on the circumstances. So, what is too many times to be married and divorced – three, four, more?
I’ve been married and divorced twice. While I would have a lot of work to do if was interested in breaking the record, it’s important to note this isn’t a statistic I’m chasing. I’m not proud of where I stand with my numbers as it is, let alone how I’d feel with a third, a fourth, a whatever plus. What I am proud of is that out of these two failed marriages came two incredible girls. My daughters redefine what it means to be blessed, and the only way I came to experience them in my life, and for them to be gifts to this world, was to be on my journey.
Some people like being alone, but really, people crave connection. They might not crave an intimate relationship with someone, but people do need interaction. I know I like being alone, but I also know I like being in a relationship. The problem is, I only like parts of it. Selfish as that sounds (and, quite frankly, is), I’ve at least reached a point in my life where I can not only acknowledge that, but I can also stay true to it. What I mean is this: Don’t try to be someone you’re not – Be you.
Learning about ourselves and learning about and being responsive to others is so very important. It is not, however, anywhere close to being the same as changing yourself or changing others. Now, just to be clear, I’m not talking about self-improvement here. Of course we want to beat our bad habits, we want to not harm others, we want to grow and learn and be better human beings day after day. However, we can’t be someone else, nor should we try to be, nor should we allow others to convince us that we can or even should be.
I’ve used and abused, I quite literally weigh twice as much as when I was a highly successful cross-country and track athlete at the high school into collegiate levels, I’ve very nearly died more than once because of my poor choices, and I cry far more frequently than people know because I’m with my two daughters only some of the time instead of all of the time. But, I know myself, I’m going to try to keep improving myself, and I’m going to try to stay true to myself. I’m betting my time here will end without a partner, and I’m O.K. with that. Actually, it’s quite likely for the best.
I’m gonna be me, and I hope you be you.